Hey Friends,

Introducing SOC posts, starting with a question to myself, and finding out the answer as I write it.

This week’s question: Why have I stopped working while I eat?

Currently eating some eggs and toast, flipping between browser windows and workspaces. Reason? We’ve been hard at work, doing some slow-motion multitasking at Four Suits. DEFCON is coming up this year, we’re getting geared up for that; Spec(toke)ular is almost in the bag (even though it’s a few months away); we’ve been creating material and rehearsing for a new Four Suits branded show, in pre-production for a new magic series… You get the point.

Other point is, get to work. I was thinking about this the other day, how much time I spend noodling around on the internet. I heard Jeremy Griffith once refer to social media as “candy” and I think about that very frequently. Our brains love candy, but it provides zero nutritional value. Enjoying something is also happiness, and that’s important too. However, I have found myself leaning a bit too much into the instant gratifications that the internet can afford.

It’s crazy, I started learning the entertainment side of magic properly right around the cusp of youtube and web 2.0. Legitimately, most of my early knowledge came from books or teachers in real life. Now I hear about so many people starting off youtube channels or whatnot. I’m not being old man J.R. here and shaking a stick saying “Learn from books!” what I’m saying is, for me, it’s still hard to shake the concept that so much information is out there, legitimately free, for me to consume, and better myself for it, not just consume it for consumptions sake.

It started with little things, I would gradually slip into watching a fictional show while eating, instead of having it be something that I could learn something from, yet being equally fictitious (currently I’m re-focusing my habits by searching “magic” or “mentalism” on youtube and just watching whatever I come across). It’s equally cringe-worthy and insightful watching some/most of what’s out there, but realizing that this is the year I’m creating a magic special, I can also see what people readily consume as their candy. Damn, am I just making someone else’s candy? BRB, existentialism incoming.

— J.R.

I came here to do exactly what I’m doing.

When people ask me, “What’s your biggest dream in magic? What is it that you really want to do?” the answer usually is “To continue what I’m doing.” Even the biggest dream that I have is still achieved by something that I’m doing today. Even writing this here is something that’s been a dream of mine, to be able to contribute back to some of the people who have inspired me in the past.

I think, for a while, I was a bit lost in magic, in life in general. I chased fleeting ideas, goals, circumstances. I achieved a lot of them. Unfortunately, anything that can be achieved in such a short term also must be moved on from and must be course-corrected from. It was a period full of empty accomplishment, if that makes any sense. It isn’t fulfilling to chase accomplishment itself, however it is extremely fulfilling to chase purposeful accomplishments, things which complete the bigger picture of ones own life.

It’s human nature to look at something else and think that surely it must be better than what one is currently doing now. That’s because we only see the things that make it better, as it is only an idea. In reality, work is work. Everything exists day after day. The only choice I have is my attitude and approach to this daily existence. I think a lot of people who are hard-working individuals, imagine a life where they can sit back and coast on their savings, or their extremely high-earning wages, and then just travel or relax. In reality, if you’re the type of person to get to that position, your brain and desire for challenge and work won’t stop when you’re “done”. You’re never truly “done” with anything, after all. You’ll still continue to live, to wake-up, and continue to have things to do. And personally, if it were me, I’d choose to continue to do exactly what I’m doing now. Because that’s exactly what I live for.

— J.R.

It’s been a wild ride for me, and for Four Suits in general, this year. More on that (officially) in the End of Year Report for 2018. But right now I myself preemptively reflect on the year as a whole and, while it’s been great as a whole, I can’t help but lament at some occurrences in the past few months. I can’t stress how much great things have happened this year, and these things are still happening, yet I also can’t help but feel some sort of loss for the relationships, not even necessarily with myself, (but more so in my working groups) that haven’t worked out so much this year.

It’s a funny thing, when you first jump into a group of friends, which is how I end up treating many of my co-workers and collaborators (magic being a very loose profession where social and professional boundaries are often blurred), you’re extremely hopeful for all the things you can potentially do together. Often, here is where our reach exceeds our grasp and we end up falling short of those expectations with some, and going beyond those expectations with others. We grow our influence in some areas, and shrink it in others.

I suppose I’m just coming to peace with this expand/contract cycle in professional entertainment. We’re always so wrapped up in our dreams and amazing visions that sometimes, when we get dropped back into reality, we find it lamentable, when in actuality we should’ve felt blessed to dream such big dreams together in the first place. I think about changing reality and living in a fantasy so often that, sometimes, reality is a very necessary thing to remind me how everything can’t always be fantastic. Not everyone will get along, not every dream will come true.

Yet... still I dream. And I’m grateful for every person in my life, professional, friend, or somewhere in between, that allows me the faculties to realize these dreams. ...And for those of you who I haven’t been in touch with in a while: I look forward to the next time we dream big dreams together.

— J.R.